While avoiding sleep by scrolling aimlessly through tweets, what is filling my twitter feed? MTV’s tweets about the show Teen Mom. From the moment I saw the spoiler articles about this “reality show” I was disheartened and sickened to my stomach. My hometown had it’s own epidemic of teen/young moms.
Yes epidemic is a strong word but that’s the exact fall out I saw happening from this show before it even started. Naive youth around the nation would see these teenage girls getting pregnant and getting put on TV. I was an impressionable youth not that long ago, and hate to say it, MTV sucked me in more often than not. I would watch Singled Out, Real World, and Spring Break thinking that if I acted like those people, I could get on TV too. (Raising yourself gives you lots of time for TV and daydreaming)
Not only is it sending the wrong message to these impressionable teenagers but also who is holding the parents accountable? Or the community even? I know that for all my time in mix gendered school’s I was terrified of having sex. Our health teachers drilled all the nitty gritty details of every consequence from those types of actions (not to mention I was so very awkward in school…a definite ‘late bloomer’) And if it wasn’t the health teacher’s gruesome details keeping my V-card locked up it was the fear of my father and my Baptist grandparents. Back in their day they still lived by the belief that it took a village to raise a child. But in today’s day and age of technology, electronics, social media literally at your fingertips at any second of the day, our village has become more or less the world in a whole. Making parent’s jobs even tougher. So is it that we are losing a sense of community?
In my “dream community”, the reality show I would watch about Teen Mom’s would be about their struggles. Their real struggles, but it would be about the teen’s that maybe lost their way and are now trying to find it. All this ranting partially comes from watching Juno last night. That movie gets me crying every time. When I got pregnant with my daughter I was 19, had gotten kicked out of my house, and was living in a two bedroom apartment with my boyfriend/fiance at the time with two permanent roommates, one semi-permanent roommate and what seemed like constant house-guests. It was basically a college frat house packed into a tiny two bedroom suburban apartment. Except none of us went to school. But that time of my life is an entirely separate blog in itself. My point is..I was divorced by the time I was 21 after basically a shotgun wedding 6 months into my pregnancy. And like Juno, I considered adoption, but I thought (going into it) that since I was 19 and it was with the man I loved that we could handle it…. we couldn’t.
Both of us, my daughter father and I, have been through a lot of deep struggles in the past 8 years. And we are both totally different people than we were almost 10 years ago when I got pregnant. If I had known what I known now, well..I wouldn’t have changed it for the world, my daughter is a complete blessing. She came to me for a reason, to change something in me for the better. To always be better. I didn’t really have my parents in my life. My father was always away on business, or out with another girlfriend. My extended family was all in Ohio. My mother had her own personal struggles to deal with and remained in Texas when my father and I moved to Minnesota. (but they had been divorced since I was around 3)I barely saw either of them.
What these teenagers aren’t thinking about when they are having unprotected sex is that potential child. What parents didn’t think about, mind you they weren’t teenagers but still in their early 20’s, was me. You have to be willing to give up absolutely anything for the happiness of that child. You will have to work your butt off to provide for that child. You will have to teach that child to be good, instill those morals and values that seem to be lacking in today’s day and age.
I have seen so many of my dear girlfriends personals stuggles through being single mom’s and teen moms and young moms. And yet to have seen one “reality show” or documentary to really capture what we have gone through in the 10 years or more. My friends and I are now grown women, some of us remarried, some of us newly divorced, all of us still dealing with consequences of actions. We all love our children and love being moms but it was an adjustment at first, and we all grew stronger together, as a village, to give all of our kids the best possibles lives.
Sorry for the long rant.
Here’s a cute pic of me and my lil one ^.^